Goodbye New York; Hello California!

So, life-changing decisions have been made. I have decided, after much self-analysis, as well as much analysis of my bank account, to move back to California. The last few weeks have taught me that New York, as lovely and amazing as it is, might be the place for me anymore. When I was here for school, I had things to do every day, I had money to spend, and I was busy enough to keep my mind occupied. However, being here for school and being here desperately trying to find a job and a place to live gives one a very different lens from which to view this place. What I need, in Maurice's words, is a place to "regroup". And what better place to regroup than home, with my family?

I am actually beginning to get terribly excited about the whole affair. Being able to be back home, with my close friends and family, as well as the possibility of finding a job in the Bay Area, is amazing. It has always been my determination to move to Berkeley at some point, perhaps this is my chance-- just much earlier than I expected. But, life is full of unexpected surprises and opportunities.

Beyond even the possibility of work in San Francisco, I am happy to be able to be home for awhile to help out my mom. I know she has been missing her children immensely, and I think that having me nearby will help her depression a lot. She told me on the phone yesterday that she feels I am someone who truly understand both her and her situation, and that she is very excited to have me home. I was touched, but I have to be careful to walk the fine line of supporting her while not taking on too much of the burden. I can't live her life for her, and neither can I completely subsume my life into hers.

However, the excitement grows. I feel no regret in leaving New York, only a mild sort of nostalgia. Any real regret that I could feel is overshadowed by an excitement about returning to the state that I love, that state that shaped me and made me who I am. Where else can I fit in better than where I was born and raised? Where else but the sunny valleys and beaches can I be who I was meant to be? So, instead of a fabulous New Yorker, I will be a crazy, tattooed, funny, tan, sweet, laid back Californian. Onto a new adventure!